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For this year, i have decided to be a new person. I no longer want to be wishing that i become a princess to a prince.. i no longer want my happiness to be dependent on someone else but to God alone. While i am struggling to find my way into this new self, I am blessed with a lot of friends who support me and love me. For this, I swore that I will always seek God through continuous prayers and devotion. Reading the Bible never failed to surprise me. I always thought that I know a lot already but each time I read the Scripture, I discover someone new about this life. Each morning, I admit however, that I still feel the pain in my heart, it aches and reverberates. But the acceptance of the pain makes it easier to bare. I have accepted the tragedy of my life and I am looking forward to that day that I no longer have to dread my past. I’m casting all my cares to Him, as they say. Besides, these experiences make me. These experiences were also the ones who made me a stronger person. These experiences remind me of how God rescued me from the pains. Someday, I will use these experiences to inspire other people who may encounter the same thing. And I know that that someday is soon approaching.

I have learned in psychology that labels affect a person’s behavior. Perhaps, calling myself princess had done me no good. It just made me a wishful thinker. I want to be someone strong, independer but still soft and sweet as I am. My friend said, my icon could be an angel instead. And yeah. That’s it. An angel. That’s my mission this year. I would forget about going after my dreams but I will help people go after theirs. I have realized that loving myself doesn’t make sense to me because it is really not a big thing for me. I always want to love and feel needed. I just gave it to the wrong persons, that’s why. So now I will be for everyone who needs me. About me and my dreams, God will take care of it as long as I give Him glory with what I do.

For my new self, I also plan to be single and wait. Be single until I am confident enough to say that I am strong enough and I have discovered myself already. And yes, I would want the next to be the last. So I really have to be sure of my decision. To be patient while making my heart rest and restore itself. Besides, when God gives me His will, I want to be prepared to love him without carrying fears and aches of the past. So now is really not the time for that. An angel does not concern itself with falling in love, just with glorifying God and doing His will. That’s who I will be!

This is it! A new self for the new year!!!! Cheers!!